WELCOME TO THE SHE SHED
What is being a Woman with a Disability?
Welcome to the SHE SHED where I include information for
MOTHERLESS WOMEN & MAMA BEARS that Empower us to HEAL & TRANSFORM into our best selves.
If you are ready to transform yourself, we will identify which of the Female Personalities or Energy types you resonate with: Mother, Daughter, Woman or a mixture of all - which I talk about below!
Understanding the different Personality Types or Energies are absolutely life changing to help you become more empowered women, mothers, partners, co-workers, CEO's, patients, and any other title we may carry.
WHAT IS ALL THE WRITING BELOW?
Please read, skim and eventually listen to (coming soon!) everything written below
to learn about me, my story of finding my Feminine Self and how and why I became passionate about healing women, helping you find your dream partner or reconnect with your partner now, helping MAMA BEARS, and a little bit about my CHILD COACHING
(Packages Coming Soon for All!).
This is also where I share some of my experiences as a
Professional Nanny, Cert. Childcare Provider, Trauma Recovery Specialist,
and Certified Special Needs Independent Provider who
specializes in INFANCY TO 10 YRS OLD (but work with children of all ages and abilities).
PART 1: WORKING WITH MOTHERS
Beyond guiding women from all walks of life on their healing journey and teaching them about Personality/Energy Types – one of my biggest passions is working with
NEW OR FIRST TIME MOMMIES!
I have been told by multiple families I am “the baby whisperer” or “the only one my child will eat / sleep / or potty” with or for and I finally figured out WHY.
I do Sleep Training, Potty Training, and Relationship with Food.
I also do CHILD COACHING to teach grounding techniques, how to express themselves in a respectful way when they feel angry or sad, and MORE. The parent is a big part in this and your dedication to your child's growth is paramount for long-term results. For the child to make changes, you may have to make some changes as well which we will discuss during our FREE 20 MIN DISCOVERY CALL!
If you are a Mama Bear looking for a quick call or a package of a few calls to save you more money, please don’t hesitate to Book your DISCOVERY CALL with me to discuss how I can help you.
I attended Ohio State University for three years for Early Childhood Development, Strategic Communication and Law. Eventually, for personal health reasons I had to leave college, never settled on a major, and did not graduate. However, I still learned A LOT.
Although I wasn't healthy enough to continue with college, I did continue with my independent research on studying baby brains while being a Nanny-getting to see all of this research happen in real life was so fascinating to me! I truly enjoyed being a Nanny so much and also discovered I could help Parents as well as children with my knowledge and experience.
In my 12 years of Nannying and beyond – helping friends, family members and random mothers at Mommy & Me Meetups – I have sleep trained over 25 babies and toddlers, as well as helped the parents and child with potty training, eating and their relationship with food. I actually began to start my own Baby Food Company in Los Angeles in my 20’s but had to move back east due to family emergencies and health issues, so it never went anywhere. Yet, another thing I had to leave unfinished because of my health...
but I wasn't giving up yet...
I'd felt like I'd figured out a way to get babies and children to eat, at least a little easier than before they had started eating my own Baby Food, and all of the children I took care of ate without hesitation...
I couldn't believe it!
Sleep, Potty Training, & Food (as mentioned above) are my favorite areas to help parents with because I honestly have always been really good at them. They all just made sense to me and it was easy for me to think from the child's perspective, understand them, and therefore implement routines that they took to.
MAMA BEARS –
IF YOU ARE LOOKING FOR SOMEONE TO TALK TO, ASK ADVICE, STRUCTURE ROUTINES, IMPLEMENT CONSISTENCY (for yourself or family);
OR LEARN ABOUT SLEEP/ FOOD / POTTY TRAINING –
I AM YOUR WOMAN!
I have sleep trained multiple babies in toddlers in just 30 minutes to 1 hour. Some 4 hours and
one child took 3 days, but that was for specific reasons. How a child takes to these things ALL depends on the child, the parent(s) / caregivers, environment, and A LOT MORE...
What I do is I teach you, the parent(s), during a Sleep/Eat and/or Potty Training Zoom Session
and we have a follow up call to see how things are going, answer any questions, etc. and see if you'd like to continue with the Coaching.
PART 2: How Understanding Femininity Changed Me
Ladies let me tell you…
Feminine Energy Work CHANGED MY LIFE
...and taught me how to attract my dream husband…who btw I will be marrying next year!
Being born with what was supposed to be a Terminal Heart Condition: HLHS...With technological advancements came more hope for my health and future heart surgeries to keep me alive (see my Feminine Development Story below). So, since I was still living, getting older, and more interested in considering marriage, after finally figuring out WHY guys just wanted to hang out with me and rarely want to date me…Because I was too masculine! I had never cared to learn how to be a WOMAN before yet I had SO MUCH Mother energy...I was a natural mother and bro and men do NOT want to marry either of those!
I spent years learning about femininity, building myself as the authentic feminine woman that I am today (with masculine traits I will always have by default that I'm finally totally okay with). I learned that men actually do NOT like masculine women to marry, unless they are more feminine and I did not want a feminine man. Not because feminine men have anything wrong with them, it’s just not my type and that’s okay!
Throughout my 20’s, I was soul searching and learning a lot about rewiring my own brain, Male & Female Energies and Relationships, Same – Sex Relationships, my own relationship with God or a higher being, Parenting & Nanny Life, The Disabled Community as a Volunteer for Special Olympics and Ind. Care Provider, Business Owning, Marriage and Dating.
PART 3: FULFILLING MY DESIRE TO MOTHER
I always looked very feminine, but I didn’t feel I could connect to girls in the same way I connected with guys – being from a predominantly male environment.
I wasn't very feminine until I had to learn how to be when I finally had to face myself in my late 20’s. Having been born with what was supposed to be a terminal illness: a form of Congenital Heart Disease called Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome (HLHS), I'd never really planned on getting married. Therefore, never had to think about what kind of woman I'd want to be as a wife or mother.
However, living or dying I was still a female who got that burning mothering desire that shoots fiercely through many of our bodies in my 20’s. But since I didn’t have a guaranteed life expectancy, and had had a miscarriage at 19 that pushed me into getting my tubes tied because of what it did to me emotionally - single or not it wasn’t a good idea to risk another slip up and bring a child into this world who may not have a mother that lives long.
So, I fulfilled my burning Mommy desire by being a Nanny and Caregiver to special needs children, teens, and adults. I also mothered CEO's I worked for, employees I managed, and pretty much all of my friends. I became a Certified Independent Disability Care Provider, along with a long list of other Certifications within the same school.
Guys I dated? I was either bro-ing out with them or being their mother. So, I had the fierce Mama Bear in me satisfied at all times, if I didn't...watch out! I needed people to take care of to feel I had a purpose, feel loved, and feel I was worthy of existing. I wasn't really caring too much about my own life, so to care for other's lives gave me reason to live.
If you can relate to this-I hear you sister! If not, that's okay too! Many women I have spoken with say "I didn't have that mothering thing in me until I got pregnant and had a child, and even still I wouldn't call it "fierce.""
That is perfectly okay!
PART 4: PERSONALITY-ENERGY TYPES
Where we resonate or how we feel as our Mother-selves does not make anyone better than anyone else. We aren't all born fierce Mama Bears who live in Mother Energy-which walks around telling everyone what is best for them because she is empathetic and most likely had to raise herself in many aspects. Mama Bears think they are helping their friends, families and spouses when really it's a turn-off to some especially boyfriends/ husbands/ intimate relationships.
However, in the beginning of dating Mama Bear energy is alluring to many men because she says "look I'm an independent woman - I don't need you to take care of me, I just want a partner, I don't NEED anything from you!" Men LOVE this, however...long-term? You slowly get into a mother-son dynamic which is telling him what to do because that's how you got to where you were was telling yourself what to do and since it worked for you, well it must work for everyone else, right? No. This type of man most likely grew up with a hard working independent mother and/or sisters and wants either the complete opposite as a wife (see below: Daughter Energy) OR wants the same because he saw that was the type of woman he thought would be a best fit for him subconsciously, and Daughter Energy women annoy him.
I can explain more in detail in our calls.
This stuff goes very deep! I love it!
Many women live in Daughter Energy also-which is more of a girl who needs to be taken care of, can't speak up for herself, etc. This energy is also alluring to many men in the beginning who look for an "innocent" type of woman to be with based on their pasts and what they think they need in a partner to feel good about themselves-just like Mother Energy. However, long-term, Daughter Energy does not work.
It eventually becomes as unattractive and straining on a relationship as constant Mother Energy because you are setting up a dynamic of a father and daughter living in this energy as a grown Woman. This fits with a man who needs to feel powerful, who may otherwise not be with a "strong" woman. However, in the beginning he thought this was what he wanted because he may have grown up with a very powerful strong Mother Energy that was abusive or he hated being bossed around, or he was raised by a pushover, quiet woman and/or sisters and found that's what type of partner would fit best for him subconsiously, and Mother Energy women annoy him-"too much to deal with" he may say or "too abrasive" or "too opinionated" or "thinks too highly of herself."
None of which are negative traits but is a reflection on him and what his personality type. Men also date and marry Daughter Energy because these women don't make men face themselves or own up to what they do or say as much as Mother Energy does, therefore they can always remain the way they are or only as far as they push themselves. I can explain more in detail in our calls. This stuff goes very deep! I love it!
And then as we age and become more balanced, Woman Energy emerges-but only when we choose to let that Fierce Mama Bear or pushover-Docile Doe Daughter Energy go in our personal relationships. Maybe these energies served us in our childhoods to get us through what we needed to get through or if we didn't have much going on and had a great childhood then you may still find yourself resonating in Daughter Energy not knowing there is anything to "grow out of" so to speak because we weren't taught this stuff.
So, we can thank our child selves for being a ruthless mini-Mama Bear and surviving through some sort of hell we went through, or we can thank our Mini-pushover Docile Doe Daughter selves that internalized pain, held it in and decided she isn't worthy of a voice and LET HER GO. Many of us are a little bit of both by the way - so if you are feeling that while reading this, that's you and that's okay!
HOW WOULD WE WORK ON THIS IN OUR COACHING CALLS?
Mama Bears-stay a Mama for your children, not your boyfriends/ husbands/ partners, friends, co-workers or employees. We would slowly begin to move you into a more balanced Woman Energy - knowing when to speak up and voice your opinion instead of leading with that big Mama foot that tells everyone what to do and how to do it. There is a way of voicing your opinion that isn't such a turn-off. Trust me this one has been the hardest for me as I have always been a "straight-shooter no BS" blunt, say what I want to say type of girl...Well, that doesn't work in majority of areas in my life, especially as a grown Woman and was actually hurting me - so I needed to learn how to channel that energy by doing this work. We will work on transitioning the positives of Mother Energy to Woman Energy, releasing what no longer serves you.
Docile Doe Daughters - We would work on getting you to speak up for yourself, knowing when and how, when it's appropriate to push yourself or your opinion and when it's not, help you not isolate and go into a shell that can be very destructive to your mental and physical health, not have a victim mentality if that fits you, being more independent to give your partner a break that they may never express they truly need, and work on moving into a balance of Woman and Mother Energy.
It's important to understand how to balance these based on your personality. I do not go over these in every call, but for those interested about this we can talk about it!
PART 5: FRIENDSHIPS WITH FEMALES
As for Friendships? I was always a very simple girl when it came to friends.
I still had some of my best friends from childhood whom I’d always get along with and love, but were back home.
Meeting NEW GIRLS?
Wow that was a struggle for me. I was very annoyed by their stories about general things like constantly picking themselves apart in a group which I never understood, talking about diets and
how many guys they're sleeping with or constantly wanting to have Mimosas on...well, every day of the week and wear UGG Boots (both of which I love now haha). This was all foreign to me.
I felt like I was from a different planet when I went off to college to Ohio State.
When I went out I'd want to dance, drink, eat pizza and have deep philosophical conversations about the meaning of life and our existence as humans here on earth. I wanted to dissect the world and life together and figure complicated familial and social issues out together – that was my idea of a friend. These girls had other definitions of a friendship and that was okay, it was just very hard at the time.
Girls did not like me to say the least because I couldn't relate to the subjects they'd talk about – I was called weird, boring, annoying, and they didn’t find my dark sometimes morbid humor funny AT ALL...
which made me laugh. And I had A LOT OF ENERGY!!!...(which I'd find out 15 years later was a form of ADD).
My three years at OSU were okay overall because of my guy friends and the two female roommates I met who were genuine nice, really cool girls who felt the same way I did about "those types" of girls.
But, majority of my college experience was meeting girls who stood me up, left me out, would tell me they'd be somewhere then not show up, make fun of things I'd say or just stare at me like I was insane for saying intelligent things with that famous "EW!" face.
AND I DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO EMPOWER MYSELF YET!
I didn’t know how to look for girls like me because I didn’t think they existed. I felt alone in the world already for my health conditions, but not being able to make girl-friends totally killed my self-esteem.
There were no “girls raised in masculine households annoyed by dramatic girly-girls” support group to attend, so I spent a lot of my twenties on my own as I traveled the US unable to hang out with my childhood friends. But as for my college days for anyone who is still reading HAHA...the end was this:
Guys loved talking to me and hanging out with me and I felt the same, so
I decided I wasn't meant to have girlfriends and started hanging out with nice, cool guys -
always prefacing it with NO INTERERST IN DATING OR SEX! The ones that stayed around after that ended
up being my college best friends. But when they'd get girlfriends the guys would be distant because they'd tell me their girlfriend said I was too pretty to hang out with...WHICH IS ANOTHER BLOG! Girls hating and shaming pretty girls, thin girls, thick girls, etc -I feel girls and women do this to each other and I want to EMPOWER WOMEN in hopes I can do my part in helping women teach their friends, daughters, and family a more accepting way of thinking and to SUPPORT ALL WOMEN.
the end of college...
SO, there I was again...on my own...in my apartment...with my dog...trying to live what was supposed to be "the best years of your twenties!" While listening to all the fun parties going on around me 24-7...
...THANKFUL for my ONLY best friend who never dated - my best guy friend through college had very strict Christian beliefs and I was more on the Hippy side of Spirituality but still had my own relationship with God, so we loved learning from each other. Eventually I got a college boyfriend and we did everything together...and he even had a boy dog for my dog to have a boyfriend too! So the remainder of my college years were playing house and hanging out with my best guy friends who'd still find the time to and partying a lot with my boyfriend.
Feel free to read more about my experiences and development with male friendships in THE MAN CAVE.
I CAN'T WAIT TO VIRTUALLY MEET YOU!