"As for modeling, even though I constantly struggled with my insecurities being so different from the other girls, I didn’t quit because of how much I loved it. At my last fashion show of the year, I was the only girl they covered head to toe in the Fall-Spring Fashion Show. Most girls got to wear beautiful colors and cute spring outfits. They said they had me do the fall line “because we can easily hide your scars and varicose veins and highlight your perfectly symmetrical face and beautiful hair in high necks and scarves that we don’t have available in our spring line!” Although it did hurt, I didn’t let it spiral me out of control into a deep depression and suicidal thoughts as similar comments in modeling had done before. I was also the only one wearing big clunky block heels instead of beautiful, fun spring sandals or heels because they said the veins on my feet were too big.
But Happy Steph didn’t care.
Even though I was the only girl wearing all black, with her skin covered head to toe, I stood behind the curtain, straight as an arrow, Vaseline on my teeth and head held high. My mom hair sprayed my hair for the 100th time and tightened my belt. I stood in position.
Once my song came on, I pushed open the curtain with a smile and strutted down the runway like I was a happy, healthy, typical girl…just like everyone else."
ch. 34 Taste of Freedom
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